I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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