No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
