Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
