before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
