His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
