I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
