I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
