I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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