I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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