her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
