who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
