Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
how does that bad decision feel?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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