Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Less talking, more tequila
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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