is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
