i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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