What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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