Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
