i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
