do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
