I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
