You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
