Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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