You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
