oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
