i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
