If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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