have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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