I love black thongs
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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