PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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