and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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