I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
