Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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