I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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