This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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