So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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