either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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