I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
