Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Edward fifth and chaser hands
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
