5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
