Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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