I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
