why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
