carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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