Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
