i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
