Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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