Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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