I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
