i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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