my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A bitchslap is in order.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize