At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
