If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
