I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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