Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
