...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
