We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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