If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she smelled like a LAN party
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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