i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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