omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
