Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
