I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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