$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
