I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
